Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
