I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Randomize
