I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
