My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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