Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I think my vagina is haunted
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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