guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We got so high we made milksteak
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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