I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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