You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
