It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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