Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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