you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
