Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
