kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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