so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
