saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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