yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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