Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
