ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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