will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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