doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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