I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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