I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize