Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
