No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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