; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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