she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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