mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
