We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
where does the pee come out of this thing
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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