I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
