I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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