Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
