Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
