We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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