Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
