I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
