Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
