y did u give ur computer a hand job?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
