I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
