Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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