I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
