Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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