we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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