ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
