Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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