i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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