Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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