So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize