im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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