Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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