we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
