im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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