I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
