STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
