Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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