I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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