I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you win again, gameday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
