Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I need water and some morals
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
