Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
