This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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