Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
