mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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