So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
