i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
