Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
where am i from again
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
